Moonless Mile

Could it be true?  Is it possible to have a moonless night?  I could not find the moon tonight.  I went out for a walk jog at 9:30 pm and it was very dark and cold.  I noticed how difficult it was to see the pavement and when I looked up the stars were bright.  I enjoyed seeing a shooting star and I also saw Venus but, I could not find the moon.  The hood was very quiet.  All the houses were closed up and everyone was inside because of the cold temperature.  I actually ended up jogging a full mile and walked a half mile.  I am very proud to have run my first mile on a moonless night.

Fast Fall Walk

The weather has turned suddenly cold.  The bumble bees appear to be frozen in the morning on the flowers waitng for the sun to warm them.  Note to Self.....It gives a photographer perfect opportunity to macro a bumble bee!  Today it was cloudy cold and windy.  I came home from work and did a fast fall walk jog as the sun went down.  The days are definitely shorter in day light and the feel of Fall is in the air.

Sunday Valley Cruz

Valley Cruz 2010

Today we had a car show at our church and I walked around getting pictures of beautiful old cars.  These cars are lovingly restored and proudly displayed.  It was a beautiful day and I spent it in photographic solitude among friends and strangers.  Did I count it as exercise?..... No, it does not count as 30 minutes of intentional exercise!  I came home and went for a walk around the hood before heading off to see the movie Eat Pray Love with my friend Stephanie.  It was a great movie, offering beautiful scenery, divine culture and plenty to reflect on.....

SetBacks

Such a rough week emotionally and I feel drained of emotion of any variety.  My husband and I walked over to the Middle School to watch an Agility Dog Contest.  Immediately our eyes found the small dogs and a Papillion breeder was there with 4 puppies.  We held one called "Big Jake", and although I had fleeting thoughts of getting another dog, we refrained, and was content to just hold the little guy.  After the dog trials we walked over to Subway and talked about our little "Shmupps" and how much we miss him.  I feel like I have let go of control over my food choices and it is starting to get the upper hand....it is definitely a setback.

Time to Play

If it wasn't for this project I would not have exercised today.  I think the depression went a little deeper today.  I am having a hard time with all the visual reminders of Chance, so I tried to remove them all tonight.  I packed up all his doggie accessories and put them out of sight in another room and closed the door.  Then I vacummed the whole house.  I am finding small little furry reminders of his silky soft hair everywhere and each one I find hurts a little.  I know I can't remove them all because I will find one on a shirt that I have decided to wear or a coat from the closet.  Tonight I did yoga on a cleanly vacummed carpet and I missed my doggie licks to the face.  Chance always thought that when I was on the floor it was time to play and he would position himself under my Warrior One yoga pose or lick my face on the Downward Dog and I would shoo him away..... I didn't think I would miss that....

Wednesday Walk

Normally a Wednesday would not be such a big deal.  But I am still dealing with the little things that come with losing a pet. I made it through work with mild depression, it helps to force your brain to focus on other issues that are immediate and important.  I have been trying to medicate my feelings with food, eating without concern for myself and it never works.  At the end of the food tunnel all you find are tight jeans and saddness.  I have so many emotions to deal with right now and I am only adding to it with donuts.  I went for a walk today because it is the only thing I can put a "pin drop" of energy into doing.

Still Painful

Today, is a new day and almost 24 hours farther from loosing my little warm furry bundle of unconditional love...and it is still painful.  Going to bed last night was horrible as I expected to hear his little jump up from the floor to the bed and feel him snuggle up against me.  I cried myself to sleep last night and I am not so sure tonight is going to be any easier.   I had a major, " I miss my dog" meltdown at lunch time.  I am so thankful I have an hour for lunch.  I was able to cry my eyes out, pull myself partially together and go back to work for the afternoon.  When 5 o'clock hit I didn't really want to go home to an empty house so I called my husband to be sure he was going to be there when I got home.  He suggested we walk over to Subway for dinner and I was glad to be able to get my exercise done, my dinner eaten, and therapy talking about our little "Shmupper" dog as we walked...