Time to Play

If it wasn't for this project I would not have exercised today.  I think the depression went a little deeper today.  I am having a hard time with all the visual reminders of Chance, so I tried to remove them all tonight.  I packed up all his doggie accessories and put them out of sight in another room and closed the door.  Then I vacummed the whole house.  I am finding small little furry reminders of his silky soft hair everywhere and each one I find hurts a little.  I know I can't remove them all because I will find one on a shirt that I have decided to wear or a coat from the closet.  Tonight I did yoga on a cleanly vacummed carpet and I missed my doggie licks to the face.  Chance always thought that when I was on the floor it was time to play and he would position himself under my Warrior One yoga pose or lick my face on the Downward Dog and I would shoo him away..... I didn't think I would miss that....

Wednesday Walk

Normally a Wednesday would not be such a big deal.  But I am still dealing with the little things that come with losing a pet. I made it through work with mild depression, it helps to force your brain to focus on other issues that are immediate and important.  I have been trying to medicate my feelings with food, eating without concern for myself and it never works.  At the end of the food tunnel all you find are tight jeans and saddness.  I have so many emotions to deal with right now and I am only adding to it with donuts.  I went for a walk today because it is the only thing I can put a "pin drop" of energy into doing.