Still Painful

Today, is a new day and almost 24 hours farther from loosing my little warm furry bundle of unconditional love...and it is still painful.  Going to bed last night was horrible as I expected to hear his little jump up from the floor to the bed and feel him snuggle up against me.  I cried myself to sleep last night and I am not so sure tonight is going to be any easier.   I had a major, " I miss my dog" meltdown at lunch time.  I am so thankful I have an hour for lunch.  I was able to cry my eyes out, pull myself partially together and go back to work for the afternoon.  When 5 o'clock hit I didn't really want to go home to an empty house so I called my husband to be sure he was going to be there when I got home.  He suggested we walk over to Subway for dinner and I was glad to be able to get my exercise done, my dinner eaten, and therapy talking about our little "Shmupper" dog as we walked...

Bye Chance

Chance~ 2000-2010

It was the Monday after the terrible weekend.   Our dog Chance having been diagnosed with diabetes, could not continue any longer with his battle back to good health.  We took him to the Vet for a Monday morning appointment but we knew in our hearts we may have to say goodbye.  I was at work when my husband called me and I was still hoping we could save our little "schmupps".  As soon as my husband said, "I am going to let the Vet talk to you....",  I knew my worst Monday was about to happen.  I knew this day would come eventually, and it came too quickly.  I was blessed to have a new manager who has 3 dogs who are her "children", and when I entered her office and told her, she did not hesitate to send me off to be with my "dog-child".  I called my son Marshall, who was still asleep in bed, and he wanted to say goodbye also, so we drove to the Vet as quickly as we could.  My little dog, who hates the Vet Clinic and normally shakes like a leaf on a tree, was waiting calmly with my husband in the sunshine outside the Clinic.  I held him in my arms as we entered the building, and I was anticipating his panic and angst to go home but he did not even try.  I know it was the right thing to do for him.  He could not lay still at home for very long without having to reposition himself to be comfortable, he could not eat and he stopped drinking water.  I held him in my arms and whispered in his ear that I loved him and that he was a good boy as he took his last breath..... it was a heart ache like I have never felt before and I spent all day trying to escape it.  Everywhere I went there was comfort being offered but no relief was found as my heart continued to break.  It wasn't until late evening that I could even have a conversation with anyone, and thats when I went for a walk with my friend Cindy.  It is always her wisdom that calms the storm in my head, her love that eases the pain in my heart and the bond that we share in God is unbreakable...