Wednesday Walk

Normally a Wednesday would not be such a big deal.  But I am still dealing with the little things that come with losing a pet. I made it through work with mild depression, it helps to force your brain to focus on other issues that are immediate and important.  I have been trying to medicate my feelings with food, eating without concern for myself and it never works.  At the end of the food tunnel all you find are tight jeans and saddness.  I have so many emotions to deal with right now and I am only adding to it with donuts.  I went for a walk today because it is the only thing I can put a "pin drop" of energy into doing.

Still Painful

Today, is a new day and almost 24 hours farther from loosing my little warm furry bundle of unconditional love...and it is still painful.  Going to bed last night was horrible as I expected to hear his little jump up from the floor to the bed and feel him snuggle up against me.  I cried myself to sleep last night and I am not so sure tonight is going to be any easier.   I had a major, " I miss my dog" meltdown at lunch time.  I am so thankful I have an hour for lunch.  I was able to cry my eyes out, pull myself partially together and go back to work for the afternoon.  When 5 o'clock hit I didn't really want to go home to an empty house so I called my husband to be sure he was going to be there when I got home.  He suggested we walk over to Subway for dinner and I was glad to be able to get my exercise done, my dinner eaten, and therapy talking about our little "Shmupper" dog as we walked...

Bye Chance

Chance~ 2000-2010

It was the Monday after the terrible weekend.   Our dog Chance having been diagnosed with diabetes, could not continue any longer with his battle back to good health.  We took him to the Vet for a Monday morning appointment but we knew in our hearts we may have to say goodbye.  I was at work when my husband called me and I was still hoping we could save our little "schmupps".  As soon as my husband said, "I am going to let the Vet talk to you....",  I knew my worst Monday was about to happen.  I knew this day would come eventually, and it came too quickly.  I was blessed to have a new manager who has 3 dogs who are her "children", and when I entered her office and told her, she did not hesitate to send me off to be with my "dog-child".  I called my son Marshall, who was still asleep in bed, and he wanted to say goodbye also, so we drove to the Vet as quickly as we could.  My little dog, who hates the Vet Clinic and normally shakes like a leaf on a tree, was waiting calmly with my husband in the sunshine outside the Clinic.  I held him in my arms as we entered the building, and I was anticipating his panic and angst to go home but he did not even try.  I know it was the right thing to do for him.  He could not lay still at home for very long without having to reposition himself to be comfortable, he could not eat and he stopped drinking water.  I held him in my arms and whispered in his ear that I loved him and that he was a good boy as he took his last breath..... it was a heart ache like I have never felt before and I spent all day trying to escape it.  Everywhere I went there was comfort being offered but no relief was found as my heart continued to break.  It wasn't until late evening that I could even have a conversation with anyone, and thats when I went for a walk with my friend Cindy.  It is always her wisdom that calms the storm in my head, her love that eases the pain in my heart and the bond that we share in God is unbreakable...

Going the Distance

I went out for the distance walk today.  I did two rounds of the hood and saw a little police action on the second round!  Someone was picking up their wooden fence when the cops pulled up with lots of neighbors standing around.  I kept walking but had a rubber neck reaction trying to figure out who plowed down the fence!  I only did a little running today because one of my shins was starting to hurt a little.  The distance was 3.4 miles in 50 minutes, thats about 15 minute miles.

New Shoes!!!

Well, the day did not go as planned, but it turned out ok.  We were supposed to go camping with some friends today and as we were getting ready to go, the dog threw up.  Now, I don't know if it was a "ploy" to get us to stay home but it worked.  My husband who is extremely exhausted and stressed about leaving the dog in the care of our 18 year old son, was trying to pack up the car when I called it all off.  We went out to breakfast and then to visit a friends backyard garden oasis.  We came home again to discover the dog had "tossed more cookies".  Exhaustedly my husband cleaned it all up, and managed to get even more stressed out.  I had to have him sit down in the "lazy boy" and put on some John Wayne just to calm him down!  Later in the day we drove down to Runner's Soul and did some shopping therapy,  I know he feels better buying things for me so I let him buy me some new running shoes ;)  I did a walk/jog around the "hood" and probably would have gone for a second round had I not seen lightning in the distance... all in all, a good and bad day.

Friday Night Lights

Tonight I decided to go out for my walk/jog while it was still light out but, the sun was low enough behind the hills that it was cooling off the days heat.  I have to say the people in the hood were a little crazy over the fact it is Friday.  First, I had a truck full of teenage boys drive by and give me the old,... "WOO HOO!" obviously having their "happy hour" in the truck.  Then I had an old guy drive by in a suburban and tell me to "go faster"... this is another great reason why I like to exercise in the dark...  all the crazy young boys are out in the bars picking up girls and the old guys are kicking back in the "lazy boy" with the remote control...

Thursday- Taking Advantage

I am definitely taking advantage of the outdoor weather these days.  I know winter will be coming soon, I can already feel fall in the air.  When I enter stores I can see all the fall pumpkin and leaf decor on the shelves in the front and Christmas is setting up toward the back of some stores.  My favorite season is fall, as I love the warm colors and the cool air.  I have been going out consistently for a walk/jog in the evenings.  I have been enjoying the cool nights and the quiet of the neighborhood....the downside is I haven't found any money in the streets, its too dark!!!